Patricia Cheney asked:

If you are aged 35 to 50 and are just realizing you are a lesbian, you are not alone. Many women share your experience. Some have remained single and many others have lived in marriages. Most women in this situation go through the gamut of emotions. Negative emotions such as confusion, anxiety and depression are often cited as you move away from your former roles. However, there is also a great deal of excitement, curiosity and anticipation of the new life you are about to embark on. For many women in transition, it may be the first time you have felt true to yourself and you are eager to explore that untapped part of yourself. One of your first desires will be to find a special woman to share your new experiences with. So how do you go about finding the right woman for you?

Once you decide you are interested in a lesbian relationship, I strongly recommend starting with one of the many GLBT internet dating sites. There are several advantages to this option: you can quickly find someone with your interests, it is cost effective compared to bars and it is time efficient. Online dating allows you to correspond with several women and then decide if you want to take the next step and meet in person. You can specify someone in your locale as well.

If you live in a metropolitan or heavily populated region, there are likely to be social groups that you can attend by membership. To find out if there is such a club in your area, simply do a search for “lesbian club your city.” Clubs are a good way to meet a lot of women at once and develop friendships first.

Service organizations that support lesbian causes are also a possibility. Volunteering for an HIV/AIDS organization or your local PFLAG not only helps the organization, but also gives you exposure to other women of like mind.

Once you have made some social contacts, ask your new friends if they know of anyone who is single that may be a good match for you. Most lesbians enjoy the role of matchmaker, so don’t be shy. Finding a date this way can be more reassuring, since your friends have already screened and approved your date!

Finally, there is always the pick-up bar. Depending on where you live, there may or may not be a lesbian club close by. Clubs are good if you are looking for that instant attraction factor. Just make sure you plan your first date for a quiet place where the two of you can talk and get to know one another better.

Now that you have some ideas of where to look, happy hunting! Remember to use good common sense as you would when meeting any new person. Above all, enjoy yourself.

Sarah Harris

Lesbian love is nothing new; Sappho was an Ancient Greek poetess who was born on the island of Lesbos. Many of her love poems were addressed to other women and the female narrators in many of her works speak of infatuations and love for various women. The word “lesbian” derives from the island on which she lived and her name is the origin of the word “sapphic”. However, until recently, the idea of one woman loving another, let alone sleeping with another female has been perceived as something either very unusual and rare, or just downright strange. Over the last few years, there’s been a gradual sea-change in regard to the general perception of what being ‘lesbian’ really means. The traditional image of the cropped haired, rather aggressive looking, butch dyke might still apply to some gay women, but now we’re coming out of the closet in our millions and the world can see that actually, in most cases, we look just like the girl next door.

This mass ‘coming out’ is partly due to the proliferation of lesbian-centric resources on the internet; type in the word ‘lesbian’ into any of the search engines and you’ll see a plethora of heavily populated chat rooms, directories, forums and dating sites like PlanetSappho.com which are the exclusive territory of sapphic women. It is this availability of male-free communities that has coaxed so many gay, bisexual and even bi-curious ladies out of their closets and into the open. Also, we now see major cultural icons like Madonna kissing Britney Spears kissing each other full on the lips in front of a television audience of millions which is exactly the right heterosexual seal of ‘cool’ that we lesbians have waited such a long time to see. Over the years, there have been a great many famous lesbians in both film and music but, unfortunately, they were just too frightened to come out and publicly admit it. Now we have Ellen DeGeneres and KD Lang – both of whom have an army of straight, non-judgmental fans.

The outcome of all this is that there is no longer a social stigma attached to the concept of women dating women or straight women experimenting with their sexuality by taking a same sex partner. Gay guys have been doing it for years but now there’s no reason for any woman to feel repressed or uncertain about dating or sleeping with someone of their own sex. Being who we are or want to be is no longer just a possibility, it’s a right and it’s also something that’s now accepted by our straight counterparts.

Whilst the word ‘lesbian’ is an all encompassing description for a gay woman, it doesn’t do justice to the many different types of female who embrace the lifestyle. There are the traditional dykes as well as femmes/lipstsick lesbians whose ultra-feminine appearance would give no clue as to their sexual inclinations and bi-sexual and bi-curious women who occasionally indulge the lesbian side of their sexual and emotional psyches. Just because you don’t have the shaved head and the tattoos doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself sexually with another woman if that’s what you want to do. So sisters…there’s never been a better time to be a lesbian and now is the time to come out of the closet and be loud and proud about joys of lesbian loving!

Shelley Lowery asked:


Those who have gay or lesbian sexual orientation usually find it to their advantage to join online dating services that are dedicated to gay and lesbian match making.

Perhaps more than any other groups, however, gays and lesbians need to be aware and conscious of their personal safety when dating online. Even in our so-called modern world of social acceptance for a variety of lifestyles, gays and lesbians are very often victims of hate crimes. All of those who join gay and lesbian online dating services are not, in fact, looking for a relationship. Sadly, some of them are looking for an opportunity to identify a gay or lesbian person so that they can do them harm.

Many of those who are gay or lesbian live heterosexual lives and go to great lengths to hide their sexual preferences from their family and friends. To present a picture of what they consider normalcy to the world, they may have husbands, wives and children and only conduct their alternative lifestyle secretly and with lovers that they meet at online dating sites.

Honesty-is-the-best policy applies to gay and lesbians who are engaging in online dating just as it does to heterosexuals. Be honest with your dating partners about who you are without giving specific information that can provide a person who has less than honorable intentions toward you information that will allow them to find out where you live.

Never give out your real name or the name of the city in which you live or were born. These two bits of information are all that a determined predator needs to find out where you live and where you work. Take your time and let online relationships develop slowly over a period of months. Most predators do not waste months getting information. If you aren’t forthcoming with the information that they are seeking, they will move on to easier pickings.

All relationships that are worth pursuing are based upon mutual interests. Friendship and trust are the basis of all lasting relationships. A physical relationship happens after trust and friendship have been well established, whether the relationship is heterosexual or homosexual.

After you have established a well founded friendship with a person online, and have concluded that you would like to meet them face to face, gays and lesbians need to be even more careful than their heterosexual counterparts.

The first face to face meeting should be held at a public place and during day light hours. It is a good idea to have a friend with you or nearby. There are a lot of horror stories out their about gays and lesbians who have gone to what they believed was to be a friendly face to face meeting with someone that they met through an online dating service only to have found themselves surrounded by a group of people who believe that they have every right to rid the world of gays and lesbians. It isn’t a pretty sight and it most certainly is not a position anyone would want to find themselves in.

Take your time and really get to know your potential partner. It will be well worth your time and effort in the long run.

Tammy Thomas asked:


It is not too hard to tell if a girl is a Lesbian by looking at her. You can tell if she is a Lesbian by the way she stands, sits, or walks. Basically, a Lesbian lady usually acts the a little same as men. You can tell by her eyes and her face if she is a lesbian. Their characteristics are also considered feminine. So, there are lady ways you can tell if a girl is a lesbian. Lesbian girls are people and human being which refers to bisexuality. They refer to the same-sex relationships and they have needs and desires as all of us. According to this modern century, we have seen too many Lesbian relationships and marriages in America, which is common. We all need relationships so do lesbian. The only difference is that Lesbian like to have relationships with a lady, not a man. In other words, they like to have love and romance with girls only. Sometimes, Lesbian are considered overlooking who are not as respectful as other people. In this modern society, especially in America or other countries, lesbians are valued equally as other people.

Because of equally treated, they are freely to find each other in everywhere, including Lesbian clubs, community, dating online services, personals services, and others. There are Lesbian dating and personals services online and are so popular these days to help them find each other on the Internet. Whenever you search for these keywords such as free Lesbian personals, Lesbian online dating services, you will get Lesbian dating sites appear on Google, Yahoo, MSN, and other search engines. There are free Lesbian dating services and pay dating services so Lesbian singles can have chances to choose which services they want to join.

Lesbian have jealousy as other people, maybe they have more jealousy than others, in terms of love, romance, and relationships. When a Lesbian lady cheats on her partner for another girl, the be-cheated partner is jealous exactly as other people. Jealousy is not bad for Lesbian because it is proved that they have strong feelings about their partners. Jealousy may benefit and improve their relationships. It is defined as a feeling that arises from a threat to the relationships. In other words, lesbians are jealous because they are afraid to loose their partners by someone else or the fear of loss from their partners. So, they are jealous as other people.

When Lesbian girls find someone they really like, they are not afraid to enter into a relationship with the one they love. In other words, they do not hide their feelings with the ones they like. We have seen many Lesbian relationships last for years or even a lifetime. Some Lesbian couples get married with each other, adopt and raise children as their own ones. Lesbian girls date each other as other people, such as sending flowers, postcards, greeting cards, and others to their partners. So, their dates are the same as normal couples. 

So, are you ready to meet that Lesbian girls? do not wait. Take action now. Join these free Lesbian dating services to find the best Lesbian girls of your dream.

Nathaly Dedeyan

Colorado is a beautiful state in America and has a lot to offer the gay traveler or the gay resident. The social culture here is liberal, and the state itself is a huge center of gay and lesbian culture. Most of the gay and lesbian culture can be found in its largest city of Denver, where you will find many of the best Colorado gay bars. Colorado gay bars however can be found all throughout the state and you will not be short of options.

Denver itself is a huge urban center in Colorado and will give you a beautiful selection of Colorado gay bars. This city offers a bustling downtown area with a strong urban feel in its gorgeous skyscrapers and upscale boutiques. Travel along Larimar Square for a more intimate setting of Colorado gay bars that offer café style atmosphere and opportunity for intimate and romantic exchange.

If you plan to do some shopping in Denver, check out the bookshop known as the Tattered Cover, where you will find the nation\’s most extensive gay and lesbian section. You also will want to stop into the Rockmount Ranch where you can pickup some authentic Western attire in terms of shirts, hats, and belts. It is this shop that ensured the down home sexy wardrobe for the heartthrobs Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain. After you have picked up some sexy duds, you will want to show off your inner cowboy in Denver\’s huge selection of Colorado gay bars!

The cultural scene can not be beat in Denver, and the performing artist crowd here lends health to the vibrant gay community. You may want to check out the Denver Center for Performing Arts for an evening performance, or stop in to dine here at Kevin Taylor\’s, a gay popular hangout.

No matter what your plans are in Colorado, its gay scene will not disappoint.

Browse our online listings of the hottest Colorado gay bars!

Amy Derby

In the lesbian dating scene, first impressions are important. You want to be yourself, but you want to emphasize your positive traits without drawing too much attention to the negative. Whether meeting a woman at a club or online, a bad first impression will ultimately keep you single. Here are a few tips for making yourself look good while hooking her interest.

1. Give one genuine compliment, but do not over-flatter. If you are at a bar, you can compliment her appearance or even her taste in shoes. If you are responding to an online ad, say something nice about a portion of what she wrote. If you can not find something genuinely nice to say about her, she probably is not right for you.

2. Search for common ground. Ask about her interests, her job, what her goals are, and tell her about yours. The more you find out you have in common, the more comfortable and relaxed you both with be, and the more you will have to talk about.

3. Do not talk too much. In any conversation, you should listen as much, or more, than you talk. Talking too much will make you look self-absorbed or uninterested. If you tend to ramble when you are nervous, asking questions can keep her talking and help you ramble less.

4. Do not interrupt. There are few things more rude than continually interrupting someone while they are talking. If something she says makes you think of something you want to say, make a mental note, but wait to talk until she has finished what she is saying.

5. Try to be interesting. Even if your life is very boring and you spend most of your evenings watching television, there has to be something interesting about you. You have passions, hobbies, dreams and goals. Focus on those things rather than on the boring aspects of your job or personal life.

6. Stay positive. Never corrupt your first impression with negativity. Do not complain about the slow service at the bar, and do not criticize the appearance of the woman at the next table. Even if you have a lot of horror stories about all the nuts who have responded to your online dating ad, now is not the time to share those stories.

7. Avoid discussing past relationships. Even if you have just broken up with someone, no one wants to hear about your ex, especially when they have just met you.

8. Avoid controversial subjects. Unless religion or politics are so important to you that you will not date someone whose beliefs differ from your own, keep such topics out of the conversation. Turning your first impression into a debate over opposing views could ruin an otherwise pleasant evening and prevent her from wanting to pursue the relationship.

9. Avoid seeming too needy. There are few bigger turn-offs than getting into a relationship with someone who is clingy, co-dependent or needy. Common traits of needy people include calling or emailing too often, wanting to be together constantly, and relying on the other person for a sense of identity. If you demonstrate signs of neediness on your first date or introduction, she will most likely run the other way.

10. Try to have fun. Although you might be nervous meeting someone new, try to enjoy the process. Laugh, loosen up, and do not take yourself too seriously.

The rules of lesbian dating and first impression making are not much different than the rules of platonic friendship. If you are polite, keep a positive attitude, and allow the best aspects of your personality to shine through, you will be opening the door for a potentially satisfying relationship. If one date does not turn out to be a winner, consider it a learning experience. Like everything else in life, the more you practice, the more comfortable you will be for next time.

Patricia Cheney

In some ways, finding a lesbian date is similar to finding a male date. There are the same anxieties, the same butterflies and the same places to go (movies, dinner, clubs). You are getting to know each other and looking for that special someone. But if you are new to the lesbian dating scene, there are also some key differences you should be aware of.

For starters, you can feel totally free to ask another lesbian woman out on a date. There is no more waiting around by the telephone hoping the guy will call you or feeling like you are being too pushy if you call him. You are free to take the initiative if you are attracted to a woman. In fact, if you don’t act, you may lose out!

Next, there’s the safety factor. While it is certainly possible to meet a woman who is unbalanced, most women will not be outright dangerous. You can be a bit more at ease meeting a woman and not having to worry about being assaulted. While violent crime can happen, it is a bit more unlikely in this case.

In straight dating, many women expect the man to pay for dates. In lesbian dating, paying for the date can be awkward. There are no rules. If you have been the one to initiate the date, you may want to pay. Or your date may offer and insist. Or you can split the bill. The only caution here concerns obligation. If you go on additional dates and she continues to insist on paying, she may be really nice, rich and can afford it or she may be trying to set up a controlling relationship. Beware.

Another difference in lesbian dating is the age factor. In heterosexual relationships men are typically older than women. This usually limits the age span of your dating pool to the number of years age difference you are comfortable with. If you are comfortable with a 10 year age difference, you would look for men between your age and 10 years older. In lesbian relationships, there is no such distinction. You can date women who are significantly older or younger than yourself. In our example, if you are comfortable with a 10 year age difference, this means you have a 20-year age span of women in your dating pool! That is, if you are 40, you could look for a date between 30 and 50 years of age.

One final thing to keep in mind. Sex…in lesbian relationships there is no fear of pregnancy. This means no contraception. It can be quite a liberating experience if you have never been in the situation before. It can also lead to a physical relationship starting before you are ready for it, so beware. Another note on sex: while HIV/AIDS is less prominent in the lesbian community, safe sex is still recommended to prevent spread of STD’s such as genital warts and herpes. On the lighter side, you will never have to worry about your mate having a problem with erectile dysfunction!

If you are coming out for the first time in midlife, you will now be a bit more prepared on what to expect in the lesbian dating world. Have fun exploring!