Gay women join dating sites for a wide variety of reasons, often not really knowing what they are looking for until they find it. It can be daunting trying to meet new people, and the internet can provide a safe space in which to connect with others. You may be thinking of joining a dating site because you want a new partner, or you may simply want to make friends and have like minded women to chat with.

There are times in our lives when we do not want to be out going and flirtatious. Especially at those difficult times when we are going through a relationship break up. Suddenly finding yourself alone can be a very distressing time. Probably the last thing that you feel like is starting to date someone else. At the same time, it is possible that the friends you have are mutual to both you and your ex.

You may not have considered joining a lesbian dating site for the very reason that they are geared towards dating. In reality, there are thousands of women on these sites with multiple reasons for being there. If you have been been in two minds about joining a dating site for gay women, why not just give it a try? Your life may not radically change over night, but at least you will be in contact with other women who understand you and where you are coming from.

Sites for women seeking women are not just about dating and flirting. Of course, there is a huge potential for those things for those who want it though! Sometimes we just want to chat without there being a huge agenda.

When you are ready to start dating again, you will already be part of this community, so you will be off to a flying start.

Good luck.

Lavender Girls

Patricia Cheney asked:

If you are aged 35 to 50 and are just realizing you are a lesbian, you are not alone. Many women share your experience. Some have remained single and many others have lived in marriages. Most women in this situation go through the gamut of emotions. Negative emotions such as confusion, anxiety and depression are often cited as you move away from your former roles. However, there is also a great deal of excitement, curiosity and anticipation of the new life you are about to embark on. For many women in transition, it may be the first time you have felt true to yourself and you are eager to explore that untapped part of yourself. One of your first desires will be to find a special woman to share your new experiences with. So how do you go about finding the right woman for you?

Once you decide you are interested in a lesbian relationship, I strongly recommend starting with one of the many GLBT internet dating sites. There are several advantages to this option: you can quickly find someone with your interests, it is cost effective compared to bars and it is time efficient. Online dating allows you to correspond with several women and then decide if you want to take the next step and meet in person. You can specify someone in your locale as well.

If you live in a metropolitan or heavily populated region, there are likely to be social groups that you can attend by membership. To find out if there is such a club in your area, simply do a search for “lesbian club your city.” Clubs are a good way to meet a lot of women at once and develop friendships first.

Service organizations that support lesbian causes are also a possibility. Volunteering for an HIV/AIDS organization or your local PFLAG not only helps the organization, but also gives you exposure to other women of like mind.

Once you have made some social contacts, ask your new friends if they know of anyone who is single that may be a good match for you. Most lesbians enjoy the role of matchmaker, so don’t be shy. Finding a date this way can be more reassuring, since your friends have already screened and approved your date!

Finally, there is always the pick-up bar. Depending on where you live, there may or may not be a lesbian club close by. Clubs are good if you are looking for that instant attraction factor. Just make sure you plan your first date for a quiet place where the two of you can talk and get to know one another better.

Now that you have some ideas of where to look, happy hunting! Remember to use good common sense as you would when meeting any new person. Above all, enjoy yourself.

Michael Wittmeyer asked:

The world of lesbian online dating has exploded in the last few years. At the dawn of online dating, lesbians and gays didn’t have a dating site to call their own. They were simply relegated to the larger general dating sites where they were put at risk for harassment. Even on the nicest of dating sites, it was difficult for gays and lesbians to freely express themselves in their profiles. Almost like ‘coming out of the closet’ all over again. Now that lesbian dating sites are becoming more common though, creating your lesbian profile can be done with a loose creative license. Here are some pointers to help you get up and running.

Creating a profile on a lesbian dating service is not too different from making a profile for a mainstream dating service. The biggest priority is ‘filling in the blanks’. For every site this will mean something different, but the basics hold true everywhere. Expect to provide information like your location, your gender/sexual orientation, and your age. Depending on the site, you might have to answer much more detailed questions about your physical appearance such as height, weight, and hair color. Other sites give you a chance to write a few paragraphs. Generally open-ended questions like these are asking you to describe yourself or your ideal partner. In this early stage of profile development, its important to be as honest and thorough as possible. Never leave any blanks, and don’t bother exaggerating or lying; you can’t hide behind your lies forever.

Posting a picture is an absolute must. Studies have shown that online daters are five times more likely to view your profile and over twenty times more likely to pursue you further if you posted a picture of yourself. A picture says a thousand words so make sure your picture isn’t secretly bad-mouthing you. This doesn’t mean you should dig up a picture from a decade ago, but at least pick one where you are well groomed and in a flattering position. If you can, try to use a picture that shows you doing something you love to do. Not only will you have an authentic happy glow about you, but the picture itself can help further explain what kind of person you are.

A lot of the better dating sites will give you the basic questions early on to build a basic profile, but once you’re in, there are often many more options for you. With some sites, you will get an opportunity to answer more questionnaires after you are a member. These mini-tests are designed to get a clearer picture of you, and make it easier for compatible partners to identify you. These optional quizzes are a must for anyone who really wants to take online lesbian dating seriously. If you get any other options in the process, your best bet is to take full advantage of them. For instance, if you are allowed to customize the design of your profile, by all means do so. Anything that makes you stand out from the crowd is perfect for getting the attention you need.

Sarah Harris

Lesbian love is nothing new; Sappho was an Ancient Greek poetess who was born on the island of Lesbos. Many of her love poems were addressed to other women and the female narrators in many of her works speak of infatuations and love for various women. The word “lesbian” derives from the island on which she lived and her name is the origin of the word “sapphic”. However, until recently, the idea of one woman loving another, let alone sleeping with another female has been perceived as something either very unusual and rare, or just downright strange. Over the last few years, there’s been a gradual sea-change in regard to the general perception of what being ‘lesbian’ really means. The traditional image of the cropped haired, rather aggressive looking, butch dyke might still apply to some gay women, but now we’re coming out of the closet in our millions and the world can see that actually, in most cases, we look just like the girl next door.

This mass ‘coming out’ is partly due to the proliferation of lesbian-centric resources on the internet; type in the word ‘lesbian’ into any of the search engines and you’ll see a plethora of heavily populated chat rooms, directories, forums and dating sites like PlanetSappho.com which are the exclusive territory of sapphic women. It is this availability of male-free communities that has coaxed so many gay, bisexual and even bi-curious ladies out of their closets and into the open. Also, we now see major cultural icons like Madonna kissing Britney Spears kissing each other full on the lips in front of a television audience of millions which is exactly the right heterosexual seal of ‘cool’ that we lesbians have waited such a long time to see. Over the years, there have been a great many famous lesbians in both film and music but, unfortunately, they were just too frightened to come out and publicly admit it. Now we have Ellen DeGeneres and KD Lang – both of whom have an army of straight, non-judgmental fans.

The outcome of all this is that there is no longer a social stigma attached to the concept of women dating women or straight women experimenting with their sexuality by taking a same sex partner. Gay guys have been doing it for years but now there’s no reason for any woman to feel repressed or uncertain about dating or sleeping with someone of their own sex. Being who we are or want to be is no longer just a possibility, it’s a right and it’s also something that’s now accepted by our straight counterparts.

Whilst the word ‘lesbian’ is an all encompassing description for a gay woman, it doesn’t do justice to the many different types of female who embrace the lifestyle. There are the traditional dykes as well as femmes/lipstsick lesbians whose ultra-feminine appearance would give no clue as to their sexual inclinations and bi-sexual and bi-curious women who occasionally indulge the lesbian side of their sexual and emotional psyches. Just because you don’t have the shaved head and the tattoos doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself sexually with another woman if that’s what you want to do. So sisters…there’s never been a better time to be a lesbian and now is the time to come out of the closet and be loud and proud about joys of lesbian loving!

Francis Githinji asked:


There are very many free lesbian dating sites that you can choose from. Free dating sites will not only give you the results you like but, they will provide an opportunity for you to do it at the lowest price possible. If you are a lonely lesbian, this needs to be the last time for you to be alone. There are thousands of free lesbian dating sites to choose from. It is vital for you to consider several things before you start looking for a good free site for lesbians. First, you have to do a full analysis of the site. The following is an example of a site analysis of a good free lesbian dating site. The name of the site is Lesbotronic. This service is 100% free and, you can look forward to great things. There are no hidden charges and, in any service, you should determine whether there are other charges you need to know about. This is the place where you are going to find free lesbian personals as you search for a suitable match. Lebotronic comes with great features including chats, photo uploads and the list is endless.

The first thing you do when you join the service is to fill out a profile. This is a very distinct service because you do not have to search their database. They will do the job for you and send you a list of matches. You can then choose the person to contact. In this free lesbian dating service, your profile will also be given to other singles who will then decide whether they are interested in you. It is a very personal way of meeting people. You do not have to be overwhelmed with personals like in other sites. The service has been especially tailored keeping you in mind. In any service, it is wise to familiarize yourself with the frequently asked questions. This is because most singles will have similar concerns like yours. The most popular question is how exactly matches are determined. The first determining factor is about the location of the person you want to meet.

They might be in your state, province and other places. Therefore, when you state where you wish your match to come from, this will be considered. The other thing is the kind of a relationship you want. This may be a friendship, a short term relationship or a long term relationship. This is a very vital criterion when it comes to match making. The other things are gender, education, physical appearance and many more. Free lesbian dating services have really changed the face of dating as we know it. It is very interesting to search for a good site because you will not be disappointed by many. Above all things keep in mind what you want in a relationship and do not loose that focus. There are many success stories that will encourage you to go for it. With amazing possibilities, there is no reason to be single or lonely.

Ed Bagley asked:


Copyright © 2007 Ed Bagley

Tipping the Velvet – 4 Stars (Excellent)

What makes Tipping the Velvet an excellent film is its talented cast with a great presentation, and it has a life-changing, meaningful message by a lesbian about innocence, desire, passion, betrayal, empathy, change, independence, resourcefulness, vision, love and happiness while retaining a sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

It is incredibly unusual to see an alternative lifestyle film with a happy ending.

I review controversial films because they are ultimately about relationships and relationships are the foundation of our lives.

As I grow older I understand that the most important things in my life have nothing to do with money or material things, and everything to do with my relationships involving my wife, my children, my grandchildren, extended family and friends.

What matters over the long haul is the well-being of people, not whether we agree or disagree with their lifestyle choices.

The BBC has done a tremendous service in bringing this movie to television with the quality of a BBC broadcast that includes great writing, great sound, great cinematography, great direction and a great cast.

Based on Sarah Waters’ acclaimed debut novel, Tipping the Velvet was adapted by Andrew Davies, an Emmy award-winning British screenwriter who has also written “Doctor Zhivago”, “Bridget Jone’s Diary”, “Sense and Sensibility”, “Vanity Fair” and “Pride and Prejudice”. Davies is a very talented heavyweight.

Tipping the Velvet tells the story of Nan Ashley (Rachael Starling, the real life daughter of Diana Rigg) who shucks oysters and serves customers at her father’s seaside restaurant in Victorian England during the 1890′s.

Nan’s mundane life turns upside down when she sees an extraordinary performance by an attractive traveling male impersonator named Kitty Butler (Keeley Haws). Nan’s innocent interest is fueled when she is asked by Kitty to become her dresser while she is performing in Whitstable.

When Kitty is recruited by Walter Bliss (John Bowe), and heads to London to become a big time entertainer, she invites Nan to accompany her as her dresser. Nan falls in love with Kitty, joins her act as a performer and ultimately the two become secret lovers.

For Nan the relationship is euphoric and her happiness real until she returns from a vacation trip home and discovers that Kitty and her manager Walter have become lovers and are to marry.

Nan’s initial innocence and desire are now confronted by betrayal and rejection. Despite being devastated, Nan awakes from her stupor and asserts her independence by walking the streets of London disguised as a young man for hire, performing oral sex so she can survive. When she is assaulted, Nan is rescued by a rich widow who gives her every comfort in exchange for lesbian sex. Nan becomes a prisoner and slave to her passions for pleasing and being pleased.

Eventually there is a tiff and the widow, Diana Leathaby (Anna Chancellor), throws Nan out, where she is left penniless and alone to fend for herself with nothing but the clothes on her back. Despite her misfortune, Nan vows to survive. Nan now learns the plight of those in need and turns for help to the only person she can remember, Florence Banner (Jodhi May), who she had met earlier in better days.

Florence and the brother Ralph Banner (Hugh Bonneville) reluctantly take in the battered and exhausted Nan for a night, but Nan is determined to change her ways. She becomes resourceful in convincing Florence and Ralph that she can clean, cook, and watch the baby that the Banners are raising.

Nan’s vision is to make herself so indispensable that she will remain welcome in the Banner home despite her 7-year journey from innocence to unbridled passion to debauchery, recovery and finally well-being and acceptance. Ultimately Nan and Florence fall in love. Then Kitty returns to Nan’s life once again when Kitty, wishing to resume her torrid relationship with Nan, learns that Nan is back performing on stage.

Nan is then forced to decide between the attractive, passionate Kitty and the more loyal, loving Florence. For once, Nan makes a wise choice in staying with Florence, finding the love and happiness she wanted but had never possessed. The ending is what makes Tipping the Velvet an excellent movie. When all is said and done, Nan and Florence survive in their relationship as well-adjusted adults who find each other and continue living with their self-esteem and self-worth intact.

Other than a few awards from lesbian theater groups, Tipping the Velvet was ignored by the critics, and especially Hollywood. This is why I write reviews, to separate the wheat from the chaff and recognize substance in filmmaking wherever it exists.

The more knowledge and understanding we have of people, races, cultures, mores and lifestyles, the sooner we come to understand that we are all connected. We tend to value acceptance and tolerance only when it is taken from us. “Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.” John F. Kennedy said it, and I believe it.

And what does “tipping the velvet” mean? See the movie, not to find out what tipping the velvet means but because it is an excellent film on alternative lifestyles. Support films that increase understanding and acceptance.

(Editor’s Note: This is Part 2 of a 2-Part Review.)

Shelley Lowery asked:


Those who have gay or lesbian sexual orientation usually find it to their advantage to join online dating services that are dedicated to gay and lesbian match making.

Perhaps more than any other groups, however, gays and lesbians need to be aware and conscious of their personal safety when dating online. Even in our so-called modern world of social acceptance for a variety of lifestyles, gays and lesbians are very often victims of hate crimes. All of those who join gay and lesbian online dating services are not, in fact, looking for a relationship. Sadly, some of them are looking for an opportunity to identify a gay or lesbian person so that they can do them harm.

Many of those who are gay or lesbian live heterosexual lives and go to great lengths to hide their sexual preferences from their family and friends. To present a picture of what they consider normalcy to the world, they may have husbands, wives and children and only conduct their alternative lifestyle secretly and with lovers that they meet at online dating sites.

Honesty-is-the-best policy applies to gay and lesbians who are engaging in online dating just as it does to heterosexuals. Be honest with your dating partners about who you are without giving specific information that can provide a person who has less than honorable intentions toward you information that will allow them to find out where you live.

Never give out your real name or the name of the city in which you live or were born. These two bits of information are all that a determined predator needs to find out where you live and where you work. Take your time and let online relationships develop slowly over a period of months. Most predators do not waste months getting information. If you aren’t forthcoming with the information that they are seeking, they will move on to easier pickings.

All relationships that are worth pursuing are based upon mutual interests. Friendship and trust are the basis of all lasting relationships. A physical relationship happens after trust and friendship have been well established, whether the relationship is heterosexual or homosexual.

After you have established a well founded friendship with a person online, and have concluded that you would like to meet them face to face, gays and lesbians need to be even more careful than their heterosexual counterparts.

The first face to face meeting should be held at a public place and during day light hours. It is a good idea to have a friend with you or nearby. There are a lot of horror stories out their about gays and lesbians who have gone to what they believed was to be a friendly face to face meeting with someone that they met through an online dating service only to have found themselves surrounded by a group of people who believe that they have every right to rid the world of gays and lesbians. It isn’t a pretty sight and it most certainly is not a position anyone would want to find themselves in.

Take your time and really get to know your potential partner. It will be well worth your time and effort in the long run.

Francis Githinji asked:


A lesbian dating network will ensure that you are kept in touch with fellow lesbians. It is a place where you can come together and, share ideas while in the process of looking for love. There are very many lesbian dating networks and, you will definitely find them very helpful. One example is the lesbian dating network site. There are very many things you can expect from the dating network. You will find the following features in the network. First, you will be in a position to browse other members by geographic region. This is very helpful and it will make the work of single lesbians very easy. You can also perform a detailed search for members in your area. This is one of the ways that online networking through singles sites has changed the face of dating as we know it. If you are a lonely lesbian, there is no need to be in that state. You need to open your eyes and see the awesome possibilities that the networks have to offer.

When you join the service, you will have the opportunity to upload your photos. In turn, you will get to browse through the many photographs of singles that are available. There is nothing more powerful than a lesbian dating Network. More and more networks are coming and, you will not be disappointed when you are searching. In the network we have mentioned above, you will have the opportunity to show interest in comical ways like winking. Many networks come with such features and, it really makes the work of declaring interest, more exciting. Another feature to expect is where you can add members to friends and favorites list. This way, you will be able to manage your contacts very easily. In the service, you will also be able to e-mail your friends through an in built e-mail tool. If you are worried about your privacy, you will enjoy complete privacy because no one can really tell your identity. There are many networks that you can rely on and, this is one of them.

The main reason for this is their technical support which is very outstanding. You can also be very sure that you will be safe in this environment. This is because they have considered the needs of members and put in place mechanisms to ensure safety. For more on this, you will get more information on their site. The above analysis is vital because it will ensure that you choose the right network to join. Social networks have become very popular over the years and lesbians have not been left behind. It is really interesting to go through some of the interests you might have. Take time and, you will surely find what you are looking for. To make your search narrow, you need to look for the top 10 dating networks. Remember, to find a network that will cater for your area. Read on success stories of each network and you will realize that the sites work.

Francis Githinji asked:


If Lesbian dating fulfills the needs of the two individuals who are dating, it can easily become a glowing relationship that has brought two individuals who love each other and are ready to go that extra mile that a relationship calls for. Any type of relationship demands some sense of direction. The essence of dating is that after two human beings have meet, they can cross check their values that they have highlighted in the initial stages of their relationship and if they find them compatible or that they can live with them, then they can start a dating relationship that is after a lasting commitment.

Lesbian dating and the fear of a breakup is not something that one should have in mind. The biggest mistake you will ever make is trying to think whether your relationship will withstand the test of time before it has even started. It could depict about unsure and unready you are or just show your skeptic nature. Skepticism might depict that the kind of person you have met and contemplating on starting a dating relationship with you wield doubts about her. Doubting Thomas are the last thing people want to have in a relationship, since everything they do will be under scrutiny and incensed by the leverage of skepticism. The person who is always doubting in a lesbian dating relationship depicts to the other person that they will most of the time be arguing and showing how they are unable to do anything, and that is the reason as to why anybody in such a relationship must always be on the lookout for a small hole to get out of.

Lasting relationships for lesbians are a reality because there are individuals who have been in this relationships for very long duration of time. These individuals have been in these relationships since that time they started their lesbian dating program and after realizing they were made for each other, they started a relationship because they had a lot in common. Common picture and perception means that you will have very few chances of collision an this is why some relationships lasts forever while others last a day.

Lesbian dating can offer a relationship that lacks in terms of lasting. Many people start a relationship with different decisions and reasons. The decision is made after the individuals have started clicking and finding that the sum total of their differences is a little lower than the sum total of attraction. Attraction affects the decision while the reason for the relationship affects the length of the same.

Lesbian dating can be out of many distinct reasons. The parties to the relationship might decide to start because they have been lonely for long and since they have found the person they have been looking for, they just want to go ahead with the relationship. The reason might also be because they want some companionship for a short time and then leave. Whatever the reason, the relationship is occasioned by two souls who have been lacking something in their lives.